Make a Splash!

Oh em gee two posts this Friday?
You got it.

I didn't realize my lack of fashion posts until now - I'm sorry I've been slacking.
So, to get back on track, I thought I'd help you out with what is absolutely the worst shopping trip for almost any of us : bathing suit shopping.

Yes ladies, it's time. Spring break is approaching, summer vacations are approaching, an increase in your waxing allowance should definitely be approaching as well. Still shave? You've got no idea how much better it can be.

So to save you time, here is a list of my favourite bathing suits for Summer 2010, and I've also included a little part about where I would wear each one [because we all know bathing suits are what brings all the boys to the yard, not your milkshake.]

The best way to get noticed at the beach is to pick a bathing suit that is at least two sizes too small for you. My philosophy? The smaller the triangles the better. You also want the bottoms to hit at most one full hand length below your belly button. Have big hands? Score!
Posing at the beach is also a definite must and I've got to say, this classic half arch twist is a surefire way to bring the boys over. See how her right shoulder is slightly back? It's saying "I want you, but I'm pulling away" - and we all know boys love to play games like this. So much so, that they'll bring their friends straight over to you and ask you to toss around a football with them, and you're in luck, because a bikini like this is perfect for heavy, full contact sports in the sand.

Almost all of the products in my bathroom are designed to either make me look younger, or make me stay looking younger for longer. All of us would love to take a couple years off, and the best way to do this is to pick a bathing suit that would look great on your 10 year old. Baby pinks, polka dots, and ruffles ruffles ruffles will make sure you get ID'd at the beachfront bar.
The mathematical equation when trying to look younger in swimsuit season is the older you are, the younger you go with your swimsuit. Over 50? I'd shop in the kids section if you can, or at least go for a bikini with lots of ducks on it. As for the posing, you want to pose softly here, looking oh so innocent and oh so naive. Who knows? Maybe your next Shirley Temple will be courtesy of the pool boy.

Every year I get nervous for work functions that require a bathing suit. You know, you get invited to the company pool-party, or you're away at a meeting and they take you to the hot springs- it's uncomfortable! What you want to do in this situation is look as confident as you do everyday in the office and there is no better way to do this than animal print. When it comes to animal print, there's no better way to wear it than to pick a suit that looks like you've recently been attacked by the animal.
You want miminal material here ladies, and the neck on this suit looks so comfortable. With this suit you're guaranteed to get your boss' attention and it may be the best time to bring up that promotion you've applied for. You'll also want to sit like this as much as possible, and if it's not windy, I know where you can get a great fan.

These days it seems as if the latest trends change faster than I can eat a Twizzlers Pull n Peel, but one thing never changes: tanlines will never be in style. Every summer I try to avoid tanlines as much as possible, and this summer will be easier than ever! I've picked this suit as my go to suit for tanning. I've purchased the other suits above for various social functions, but this is specifically reserved for those days where bronzing up is my main goal. I can't wait to slather coconut oil all over my body and strap myself into this baby for a long day of magazines and mojitos.
Note: With a suit like this, the only way you'll get tanlines is if you're laying down, so it's best to stay standing the entire day. See how her shoulders are subtly pulled back? It's to ensure her sides also bask in the glory of UVA and UVB rays, smart cookie.

Let's recap - you've got a suit to bring the boys to the yard, a suit to make you look younger, an office-party appropriate suit and your go to tanning suit: think you're done? Wrong.
You're missing the most important suit of all - the suit you'll wear to all family functions, especially the one's in which you'll meet your new boyfriend's parents for the first time. Every boy wants to bring a confident, self-assured girl home to meet mom and this baby is a surefire way to show confidence.
With this suit, you'll not only portray yourself as a smart, classy, dignified woman, you'll be able to let your true self shine through without worrying about uncomfortable straps or the dredded wedgie. This suit is great for summer barbecue's and roasting s'mores because it's almost impossible to spill on, and is perfect for that impromptu cannon ball challenge.
Best of all? This suit is the perfect excuse to dodge that haircut you've been avoiding. You could also whip out your new hair extensions, because nothing says summer sexy than 50 clips of human hair sweating on your scalp in the 100 degree weather!

I've got a work meeting coming up in about a month and I'm so relieved I've got my bathing suit ready to pack; furthermore, I've got a family vacation in May with my parents and a couple of their friends, so I really want to make a good first impression and make my father proud.

I hope this has eased some of your bathing suit blues and gotten you excited for the sun to come out! I have a feeling this will be your best bathing suit season yet, so get shopping! All of these suits are available to order from Victorias Secret at reasonable prices, and the best way to ensure you get the right size is to guesstimate, or take the size you'd like to be and go one smaller. You always want your bathing suit to be on the small side.

Still hesitant? Just remember: if you want to feel good about yourself and get some positive attention this summer, you've got to remind yourself that true beauty is on the outside, and everyone will be looking at your outsides when you rock one of these.

Happy shopping!

xxLM

*all photo's courtesy of VictoriasSecret.com